Coupling
Megan
Well this has certainly been an interesting twist of fate. Somehow, I went from completely uninterested in dating anyone, to suddenly having a boyfriend, like he almost dropped out of the sky. Kitty introduced us and then just started hanging out with us. He's not the type of guy I usually go for, but maybe that's been my problem? He's an average student, I guess, and he's not very plugged into what's going on around him. But he's sweet, and sometimes he's shy. I think... well... after what Bianca told me, I think he's probably just as nervous about this as I am. Vulnerable, maybe? It makes me want to trust him. To not worry about what's going on and just let it happen because he knows what it's like to hurt and he wouldn't do that to someone else. Not now that he knows.
It's kinda endearing, too. The way he asks that I be careful with him and that if I think we need to slow down, he gets that. Or, there was that one time when he looked at him with these big, sad, saucer-like puppy eyes that looked like they were filling with tears and told me he didn't quite know what being in a good relationship felt like and to be patient with him. I mean, how can you not love that? Not that I'm saying I love him, I mean, it's only been a few weeks, but... mm. I think maybe I could?
He's not doing so well in class, so Bianca and I have been helping him. That's been another strange thing. I mean, we lived ont he same floor nearly all year, had classes together, and never, ever spoke. Actually, I found her a little, well, intimidating. I mean, Bianca Costa seemed like a girl that I could never like, all because I assumed I was the kind of girl she wouldn't like. It's.. complicated, sure. But then Kitty brought Mike over and Mike brought Bianca for... support? I'm not sure. But there she was and she seemed nice enough. And then we got to talking and I realized that she wasn't like any of the friends I had here. She got things that the others didn't, without me having to explain. She would just.. understand. It's been really great having her around. We're taking some of the same classes, so I finally have someone to study with that's at the same place I am. I mean, don't get me wrong, Stacey and Rachel are great friends, but we're just not academically similar people. I'm sure that sounds shitty, but, well, it's true? I think they're plenty smart, we just don't... oh I don't know. But in any case, Bianca gets it. We can tell nerdy jokes and understand each other.
I am worried that everyone's not going to get along. We don't manage to stay all together in the same room for very when we do get together. Meals are a little, awkward. Mike's started sitting with us, so Bianca comes too, otherwise it would just be her and Tim at their table and that would get... messy. Except, now sometimes Tim sits with us and we used to eat at a table for eight and now we're out of space and someone always feels left out and ugh. And since they're coming because Mike's coming and the rest of them are my friends, too, it feels like all of this is my responsibility and ugh. I hate that feeling.
I am not a social director on a cruise and maybe sometimes people expect me to be. And it's not fair. I have school work to worry about, too. I know finals are coming. Looming. Ugh. I started telling you this all excited about Mike. And I am. And it's great. But it's brought a whole pile of complications with it too.
Oh. And Sam. I didn't tell you about Sam. So, Sam is my best friend from high school and I've always kinda suspected he had this thing for me? Well, I mean, I sorta knew? Ok, so he'd told me and I was seeing someone at the time. And then I wasn't. But I didn't do anything about it because, you know, he's my best friend and that could get weird, especially if we don't last. And then he didn't say anything after my last relationship ended so I thought maybe he was over it.
Except not. Mike and I had decided to take flirting to dating and, no joke, three days later Sam calls, dropping hints about how he feels and then flat out asking if there's a chance. He's my best friends and I love him... as a friend. I don't know if it would have been better or worse for him to have asked earlier. At least now I can say I'm seeing someone and it's new and that I can't really think about whether we could ever have something because, well, that would just be bad news. I mean, you can't think about the possibility of being with someone who isn't the person you're with and be totally into that person. It would be like saying, 'well, once so-and-so and I break up, I can date so-and-so,' lining them up. That's just not right. Right?
Right. So I'm not thinking about Sam. Cause I can't. I've got Mike. And I'm not thinking about the drama with my friends. I've got finals.
Ugh. If only saying that made it true.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Chapter One - Part Three
A note to my friends who lived this story? I make up things in here, too. Fiction. Got it?
Bianca wasn't quite sure how it had happened, but what had gone from a camping trip of five had turned into one of three: her, Mike and Megan. When Kitty had backed out, citing some ridiculous argument from her boyfriend that she'd be hanging out with men she didn't know, both Megan and Mike asked Bianca to please, please still come, so it wouldn't just be the two of them. Neither was, apparently, ready to have that sort of alone time. So, as Megan's Saturn rolled up to a large wooden building after a ride made exponentially longer by the awkward conversation in the car, Bianca wondered why she hadn't tried even just a little harder to persuade Kitty. She knew she was in for a long couple of days.
They'd concocted this trip over another round of pepperoni and ricotta, hoping to get away from campus for a little while and maybe even get some studying done. Finals were rapidly approaching and the girls, in particular, were feeling rather stressed out about them. Mike, perpetually laid back, wasn't worried in the slightest. This was probably due, in part, to the fact that for the last few weeks, Megan and Bianca had been jointly helping him with his essays to make sure he passed his classes.
All this rushed through Bianca's head as they pulled up and were greeted by the caretakers of the camp who had, apparently, been briefed on the budding potential romance between Mike and Megan as the greeted Mike like a son, appraised and greeted Megan jovially and then merely shook Bianca's hand. Great, she thought to herself, five minutes and I'm the third wheel already.
Collectively, they trudged into the main cabin. What had appeared a rickety, barely standing structure from the outside was actually quite cozy in the interior. A fireplace fashione, at least externally, with hewn logs, engraved with the motto of the YMCA, "That they all might be one," was the focal point of a living room littered with mismatched sofas and recliners, clearly donated or picked up at second-hand stores. Bianca settled herself into a pale pink chair with faded red rosebuds dotted across the cushions. Megan sat near her on a plush seagreen sofa while Mike followed the caretakers into the kitchen. It was nearly lunch time and they'd prepared food for the trio.
"Not quite what I expected," Megan whispered, leaning over to Bianca.
Bianca pulled her bag of schoolwork into her lap and began rummaging for her textbook for Religious Texts. She was behind in her reading on the Qur'an and knew it would be her weak spot on the exam. "I'm not sure what I expected," Bianca whispered, looking up and throwing a grin in Megan's direction. "I'm just here because you didn't want to get all 'mmmm mmm smoochy' instead of studying." Bianca contorted her face into one of mock kisses, eyes squinted shut. That proved to be a bad idea as before she could open them, Megan was mercilessly assaulting her with a pillow from the couch.
"Don't say things like that here," Megan half-giggled, face flushed. Bianca could tell that she was embarassed when she opened her eyes and threw up her hands to defend against the pillow.
Half-laughing, half-gasping for air, Bianca let her bag slide off her lap, spilling its contents across the floor. It was this noise the prompted the return of Mike and the caretakers Carrying a tray of assorted deli meats, Mike wore a perplexed look as he turned the corner. Close behind him, Dave, one of the caretakers, carried a basket of breads and Willow, his wife, a tray of water glasses.
"Watch out!" Bianca gasped, noticing that Mike was about to step on her notebook, which on a hardwood floor would most definitely send him flying. She scrambled to her feet and gathered her things as Mike neatly side-stepped the strewn books. Dave, not far behind, laughed as he shook he head at her.
"None of that here. Relax. Worry about school later!" He chortled as he set down the basket for bread on the pine coffeetable.
Bianca from her spot on the floor turned back to look at Megan, casting her a glance that plainly said Are you kidding me? Megan met Bianca's eyes and returned the sentiment. As the glasses were passed around, Bianca settled back into her chair as Mike took a seat next to Megan and draped his arm over her shoulder.
"We're just going to go handle some stuff on the grounds. Enjoy your lunch," Willow said softly before she and Dave headed out the side door. As the screen door clanged shut, Willow turned and gave a small wave.
Mike wasted no time digging into the bread and meat, smearing a large glob of mayonnaise on each slice. Bianca watched, eyes wide, as Mike devoured the sandwich in three bites and Megan brushed crumbs off her pants.
"What?" Mike said, looking up at the girls, clearly oblivious to the dab of mayo clinging to the corner of his lip.
Megan just shook her head and laughed before making her own sandwich. The three sat in silence only occassionally punctuated by hysterical laughter spurred on by a glance or a hand gesture between the two girls. Brushing her hands together, after two sandwiches and multiple glasses of water, Bianca leaned over and grabbed her school books again, sliding to the floor and leaning against the back of the chair.
"No. Not yet," Mike said, mouth full of his final sandwich. Swallowing hard, he chugged the rest of his water. "No. Now, we hike."
Bianca's eyes bulged out of her head, but she put her things back in her bag when she saw Megan's face. As far as Bianca could tell, it clearly read please don't make me go by myself. While Bianca was definitely not a hiking person, Mike clearly wanted to show off his camp and Megan clearly wasn't ready for alone time.
Mike gathered the plates and baskets and walked them into a large kitchen full of commercial equipment and laid them on a stainless steel counter. "We'll go out this way," he called the girls, slipping through the kitchen's screen door and out onto the grounds. Walking past pine trees and large oaks, Mike stepped over fallen logs as he bobbed and weaved through the brush. Megan followed swiftly after, but Bianca huffed and puffed as she tried to follow.
Bending over to catch her breath, Bianca planted her hands on her knees and coughed, trying to get some air. They were moving quickly and she was losing them. When she looked up, they'd paused further ahead at the edge of a lake, hands clasped together. Bianca winced, definitely feeling awkward. Megan certainly didn't look like she needed company. At least, not company other than Mike. Standing back and observing the clearing from the woods, Bianca felt a pang of regret. She never should have come.
Lost in her thoughts until she heard Megan call out for her, Bianca straightened up and decided to take a different route, rather than follow the path Mike had trampled down. Megan and Mike had disappeared over the crest of the hill, as they walked down to the edge of the water.
Hurrying, she didn't notice where she was going, and Bianca ran smack into something sticky. Something webby. Something... itchy?
"SPIDER WEB!!" Bianca screamed and flailed and bolted out of the woods down to the water. "It's in my HAIR. It's.. BLEHHH. It's in my mouth! Getitoff getitoff getitoff!" Bianca's eyes watered as she squeezed them shut. Terrified of spiders, she was. "Make sure there aren't any.. any bugs!" Thin strands clung to her hair, her earrings, her glasses, everything. She had run clear into a huge web and, unbeknownst to her, a spider was making its way up her curls.
But no one was moving. Instead, Mike and Megan had turned to look at her and burst into hysterical fits of giggles in the face of her plight. Bianca's arms lashed out, half grabbing, half smacking at the two of them. "Help. me. you. idiots." Tears streamed down her face and her bottom lip trembled. "These really freak me out."
Just then, she felt a familiar tickle on her temple and her hand immediately shot up as she screamed. "AHHHHHHHH. SPIDER! GET IT GET IT GET IT!" And and she flailed, and tried to throw the spider off, her arm caught Mike in the chest, knocking him off balance. He reflexively grabbed onto her arm, pulling her with him, and Bianca's foot caught Megan's leg and pulled her down with them.
Into the lake.
It wasn't just falling into a foot of water and getting a little wet. As Megan landed on Bianca, who had landed on Mike, they were covered, head to toe, with slimy, goopy, camp pond water. A fish swam by, tickling Bianca's hand and she slipped, sinking a little deeper into the sludge at the bottom of the pond.
Sheepishly looking at her two friends, whose romance gaze at the lake she'd totally destroyed, as they pulled themselves out of the muck and brushed wet hair away from their faces, Bianca hazarded a joke. "Well, at least the spider webs are off?"
After making their way back to the cabins, dripping wet, Mike went in search of Dave and Willow as the girls sat, shivering. It was spring, but the air still held just the smallest bite of winter chill. Feeling embarrassed and a little out of place, Bianca turned to Megan.
"I'm really sorry about this." Bianca spoke in a low voice, afraid that Megan would be upset with her. Her shoes squished, full of a mix of water and pond slime. A green bit of... something... clung to her hair.
"Don't be," Megan said brightly, smiling as she looked at Bianca. "I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't, and... I'm frankly not sure I'm ready for what might have." Megan's long hair hung stringy and wet like old ratty curtains near her face. Bits of pond plant-life were tangled there and made her look something of a sea monster, come to feast on campers.
They were interuppted by Dave coming around the old building, from the opposite direction in which Mike had left. Feeling more than a little embarrassed, the girls looked up at him sheepishly as he spotted them, silently shook his head with a small chuckle, and headed inside. He returned moments later with a stack of towels and two plastic bags for their clothes, which he left on the bench before simply saying, "there's a shower back over in that building," with a nod of his head before heading inside yet again.
"Um..." Bianca looked at the pile, then the building, then back at Megan. "What are we supposed to put on after we shower? I mean, I don't want to drag this stuff through the lodge to go get clean clothes."
"Right." Megan frowned slightly and pulled a wet clump of hair away from her face. "And where'd Mike go anyway?"
As if on cue, Mike emerged from the lodge, freshly dressed and pond scum free, carrying their bags. With his trademark cheesy grin that clearly said 'don't kill me,' he handed the girls their things before scurrying back into the lodge, making it impossible for the girls to scold, question or otherwise "re-pond" him.
With obvious confusion written on their faces, the girls looked at each other and shrugged, before making their way up to the building Dave had indicated. Taking turns with the only shower in the building, the girls talked over the wall about nothing in particular, laughing as the drain swirled with muddy water and bits of plant and sludge. When they were finished and toweled off, they made their way back across the grounds to the lodge, towels and clothes-filled plastic bags in one hand and their travel bags in the other. Not having brought other shoes, Bianca's feet slushed in her still-soaked sneakers, not having wanted to walk across the grounds barefoot. Pausing at the lodge door to take them off and towel dry her feet, Bianca silently wished that they'd dry by morning.
Headed back into the lodge, clad in their pajamas, they were greeted by Dave, Willow and Mike preparing dinner in the large kitchen. Pots bubbled on the stove and Mike tossed a salad in the corner while Willow made garlic bread. Feeling just a touch out of place, Bianca, tugged on Megan's sweatshirt sleeve and nodded back to the room they were staying in, holding up the bags as if to say 'we'll go take care of these.' Shuffling past the kitchen group in her now bare feet, Bianca kept her eyes down. She was feeling increasingly uncomfortable, like she was intruding on Mike's camp space and his time with Megan. She distinctively got the impression that he'd brought Megan there to introduce to his camp family and Bianca was just there to make Megan feel comfortable.
Dinner was a mix of uncomfortable silence, punctuated by the odd embarrassing story about Mike's hijinks as a camper and then as a counselor, and the awkward attempts of Dave and Willow to get to know Megan. With the dishes cleared away and the dishwasher set to 'ear-splitting,' the group retreated to the living room, where, Bianca and Megan had assumed the caretakers would take their leave. But instead, Mike persuaded the couple to stay with him, pull out the guitar and sing camp songs. So while Bianca and Megan had pulled out their books to attempt to do some studying - the purported purpose of this trip - they instead played audience to a full set of folk songs, camp favorites and the occasional round. By the time the trio tired of singing, it was clearly time for sleeping, the day having been rather full and still, rather unproductive.
Turning in for the night, Mike took a top bunk over the bed Megan had selected while Bianca settled into a bottom bunk across the room. Megan shot Mike and inquisitive look as he climbed into the bed above hers. There were at least five other beds available in the room. "Why a top bunk?" she asked, clearly also implying why the top bunk above her.
"Too tall," he said simply, pointing to his head. "I hit it. Plus, it reminds me of a joke we tell here all the time."
Bianca looked at Megan. Megan looked at Bianca. Mike's jokes were... sometimes suspect. But before they could say anything, he proceeded to tell it.
"So, this guy, he shares a room with his younger brother. Older brother is on the top bunk, younger on the bottom. Well, the older brother's girlfriend is staying the night in the guest room and sneaks in to theirs and climbs into the bunk. 'Ok, remember the plan,' the older brother whispers. 'Bread for faster, lettuce for slower, tomato when it's good.' So, they're having sex and the girl is going 'bread... bread... tomato.. lettuce, lettuce...tomato. Tomato! TOMATO!' in hushed, hurried whispers. And it's working out great." Mike paused there for a moment, grinning evilly.
"And then the younger brother pipes up from the bottom bunk. 'Could you two stop making sandwiches up there? You're getting mayonnaise on my face."
Mike bursts into hysterical laughter while the girls just sort of look at each other, not really sure if they're amused or kind of disgusted. Looking at each other knowingly, rather than respond verbally, they both grab their pillows and throw them at the top bunk.
"What? What'd I say?" Mike flails as the pillows hit him in the face mid-laugh. He tossed the pillows back, but not without first threatening to keep them.
"Good night, Mike," Bianca says, catching her pillow and tucking it under her head. "Megan." It wasn't a conversation worth having.
"Night."
"Night."
Bianca drifted off easily enough, but it was a light rest on an unfamiliar lumpy mattress in a building that betrayed a bit of wear and tear with its creaking walls in the wind and the draft that carried across the floor. Waking up, shivering, Bianca wondered if perhaps the top bunk would have been the wise choice when she heard voices. Flipping her head to face the source of the noise, Bianca squinted. Eyes crusted with morning goop, plus not having her glasses, she could barely make out the shapes of, not one, but two people, wrapped together in a blanket on the bottom bunk. From her vantage point, they seemed to be oblivious to her presence in the room as they whispered, and cuddled and... Bianca heard a lip-smacking noise. And kiss, it seemed. Bianca groaned, barely audibly, but enough that they paused their conversation and listened to see if, either, they had disturbed her or they were about to get caught. Bianca's stomach churned. So much for all of Megan's "I don't know what I want this to be" and "Thank you for being here so it doesn't get too serious."
Mike and Megan had only paused their conversation for a moment, and soon their voices met Bianca's ear again. And then a kiss. And another. And a giggle. Determined not to interuppt - Bianca was feeling terribly like a third wheel by this point - Bianca flopped around in her bed, feigning sleep and jammed the pillow over her head as she faced the wall. She wouldn't actually fall back asleep, but she wouldn't tell them that.
As they made their way back to the car later that day, having eaten, packed and not managed to do a single bit of studying, Megan pulled Bianca aside as Mike went back into the lodge to say goodbye to Dave and Willow. Megan's eyes searched Bianca's face, looking sad but serious. Bianca's brow furrowed, as she betrayed a puzzled expression.
"I... I think we might be a couple now?" Megan asked more than she told, her voice low and uncertain.
"You think? Well, isn't it you either are or aren't?" Bianca tilted her head to the side, considering her friend.
"Well, we talked this morning, before you woke up," Megan paused and Bianca tried her best to not betray that she had, in fact, been awake, "and I told him I wasn't sure because I didn't want to get hurt and he said that he would never let that happen. That he wouldn't want what happened to him to happen to me." Megan frowned. "And then he asked me not to hurt him, either. That he couldn't do it again and that he wasn't sure for the same reason. And I said ok. And he said ok. And then we kissed.
"But, I don't know. Does that mean we're a couple? And I have no idea what happened to him." Megan looked back at the lodge, making sure that he wasn't about to emerge.
"Maybe it does? You'd have to ask him that, though. I mean, if it's what you want," Bianca said noncommitally. Megan was her friend now too, but she felt a deeper allegiance to Mike, given their history. She didn't want to see either hurt, but especially not Mike. "And as for what happened," Bianca began to speak, but was distracted by a clanging sound that could only be the screen door swining open and then bouncing shut. Mike was back.
Mike made his way past the girls and began loading bags into the car, smiling sweetly at Megan as he passed. Bianca thought Megan needed to know... needed to know so that she wouldn't hurt Mike. So Bianca wouldn't have to be the girl whose the friend who only picks up the pieces but doesn't get the guy, again.
Dropping her voice low, Bianca put her hand on Megan's shoulder and steered her away from the car. "His last girlfriend got pregnant, aborted the baby he desperately wanted, and then cheated on him."
Bianca paused, letting the facts sink in as she watched Megan's face fall. "So, whatever you do, just don't hurt him." Bianca's eyes grew large and sad. She'd wanted to be the one to help Mike, be there for him, as more than a friend. If Megan hurt him, Bianca didn't know if he'd get put back together again. "It's like kicking a small, lost puppy."
Bianca wasn't quite sure how it had happened, but what had gone from a camping trip of five had turned into one of three: her, Mike and Megan. When Kitty had backed out, citing some ridiculous argument from her boyfriend that she'd be hanging out with men she didn't know, both Megan and Mike asked Bianca to please, please still come, so it wouldn't just be the two of them. Neither was, apparently, ready to have that sort of alone time. So, as Megan's Saturn rolled up to a large wooden building after a ride made exponentially longer by the awkward conversation in the car, Bianca wondered why she hadn't tried even just a little harder to persuade Kitty. She knew she was in for a long couple of days.
They'd concocted this trip over another round of pepperoni and ricotta, hoping to get away from campus for a little while and maybe even get some studying done. Finals were rapidly approaching and the girls, in particular, were feeling rather stressed out about them. Mike, perpetually laid back, wasn't worried in the slightest. This was probably due, in part, to the fact that for the last few weeks, Megan and Bianca had been jointly helping him with his essays to make sure he passed his classes.
All this rushed through Bianca's head as they pulled up and were greeted by the caretakers of the camp who had, apparently, been briefed on the budding potential romance between Mike and Megan as the greeted Mike like a son, appraised and greeted Megan jovially and then merely shook Bianca's hand. Great, she thought to herself, five minutes and I'm the third wheel already.
Collectively, they trudged into the main cabin. What had appeared a rickety, barely standing structure from the outside was actually quite cozy in the interior. A fireplace fashione, at least externally, with hewn logs, engraved with the motto of the YMCA, "That they all might be one," was the focal point of a living room littered with mismatched sofas and recliners, clearly donated or picked up at second-hand stores. Bianca settled herself into a pale pink chair with faded red rosebuds dotted across the cushions. Megan sat near her on a plush seagreen sofa while Mike followed the caretakers into the kitchen. It was nearly lunch time and they'd prepared food for the trio.
"Not quite what I expected," Megan whispered, leaning over to Bianca.
Bianca pulled her bag of schoolwork into her lap and began rummaging for her textbook for Religious Texts. She was behind in her reading on the Qur'an and knew it would be her weak spot on the exam. "I'm not sure what I expected," Bianca whispered, looking up and throwing a grin in Megan's direction. "I'm just here because you didn't want to get all 'mmmm mmm smoochy' instead of studying." Bianca contorted her face into one of mock kisses, eyes squinted shut. That proved to be a bad idea as before she could open them, Megan was mercilessly assaulting her with a pillow from the couch.
"Don't say things like that here," Megan half-giggled, face flushed. Bianca could tell that she was embarassed when she opened her eyes and threw up her hands to defend against the pillow.
Half-laughing, half-gasping for air, Bianca let her bag slide off her lap, spilling its contents across the floor. It was this noise the prompted the return of Mike and the caretakers Carrying a tray of assorted deli meats, Mike wore a perplexed look as he turned the corner. Close behind him, Dave, one of the caretakers, carried a basket of breads and Willow, his wife, a tray of water glasses.
"Watch out!" Bianca gasped, noticing that Mike was about to step on her notebook, which on a hardwood floor would most definitely send him flying. She scrambled to her feet and gathered her things as Mike neatly side-stepped the strewn books. Dave, not far behind, laughed as he shook he head at her.
"None of that here. Relax. Worry about school later!" He chortled as he set down the basket for bread on the pine coffeetable.
Bianca from her spot on the floor turned back to look at Megan, casting her a glance that plainly said Are you kidding me? Megan met Bianca's eyes and returned the sentiment. As the glasses were passed around, Bianca settled back into her chair as Mike took a seat next to Megan and draped his arm over her shoulder.
"We're just going to go handle some stuff on the grounds. Enjoy your lunch," Willow said softly before she and Dave headed out the side door. As the screen door clanged shut, Willow turned and gave a small wave.
Mike wasted no time digging into the bread and meat, smearing a large glob of mayonnaise on each slice. Bianca watched, eyes wide, as Mike devoured the sandwich in three bites and Megan brushed crumbs off her pants.
"What?" Mike said, looking up at the girls, clearly oblivious to the dab of mayo clinging to the corner of his lip.
Megan just shook her head and laughed before making her own sandwich. The three sat in silence only occassionally punctuated by hysterical laughter spurred on by a glance or a hand gesture between the two girls. Brushing her hands together, after two sandwiches and multiple glasses of water, Bianca leaned over and grabbed her school books again, sliding to the floor and leaning against the back of the chair.
"No. Not yet," Mike said, mouth full of his final sandwich. Swallowing hard, he chugged the rest of his water. "No. Now, we hike."
Bianca's eyes bulged out of her head, but she put her things back in her bag when she saw Megan's face. As far as Bianca could tell, it clearly read please don't make me go by myself. While Bianca was definitely not a hiking person, Mike clearly wanted to show off his camp and Megan clearly wasn't ready for alone time.
Mike gathered the plates and baskets and walked them into a large kitchen full of commercial equipment and laid them on a stainless steel counter. "We'll go out this way," he called the girls, slipping through the kitchen's screen door and out onto the grounds. Walking past pine trees and large oaks, Mike stepped over fallen logs as he bobbed and weaved through the brush. Megan followed swiftly after, but Bianca huffed and puffed as she tried to follow.
Bending over to catch her breath, Bianca planted her hands on her knees and coughed, trying to get some air. They were moving quickly and she was losing them. When she looked up, they'd paused further ahead at the edge of a lake, hands clasped together. Bianca winced, definitely feeling awkward. Megan certainly didn't look like she needed company. At least, not company other than Mike. Standing back and observing the clearing from the woods, Bianca felt a pang of regret. She never should have come.
Lost in her thoughts until she heard Megan call out for her, Bianca straightened up and decided to take a different route, rather than follow the path Mike had trampled down. Megan and Mike had disappeared over the crest of the hill, as they walked down to the edge of the water.
Hurrying, she didn't notice where she was going, and Bianca ran smack into something sticky. Something webby. Something... itchy?
"SPIDER WEB!!" Bianca screamed and flailed and bolted out of the woods down to the water. "It's in my HAIR. It's.. BLEHHH. It's in my mouth! Getitoff getitoff getitoff!" Bianca's eyes watered as she squeezed them shut. Terrified of spiders, she was. "Make sure there aren't any.. any bugs!" Thin strands clung to her hair, her earrings, her glasses, everything. She had run clear into a huge web and, unbeknownst to her, a spider was making its way up her curls.
But no one was moving. Instead, Mike and Megan had turned to look at her and burst into hysterical fits of giggles in the face of her plight. Bianca's arms lashed out, half grabbing, half smacking at the two of them. "Help. me. you. idiots." Tears streamed down her face and her bottom lip trembled. "These really freak me out."
Just then, she felt a familiar tickle on her temple and her hand immediately shot up as she screamed. "AHHHHHHHH. SPIDER! GET IT GET IT GET IT!" And and she flailed, and tried to throw the spider off, her arm caught Mike in the chest, knocking him off balance. He reflexively grabbed onto her arm, pulling her with him, and Bianca's foot caught Megan's leg and pulled her down with them.
Into the lake.
It wasn't just falling into a foot of water and getting a little wet. As Megan landed on Bianca, who had landed on Mike, they were covered, head to toe, with slimy, goopy, camp pond water. A fish swam by, tickling Bianca's hand and she slipped, sinking a little deeper into the sludge at the bottom of the pond.
Sheepishly looking at her two friends, whose romance gaze at the lake she'd totally destroyed, as they pulled themselves out of the muck and brushed wet hair away from their faces, Bianca hazarded a joke. "Well, at least the spider webs are off?"
After making their way back to the cabins, dripping wet, Mike went in search of Dave and Willow as the girls sat, shivering. It was spring, but the air still held just the smallest bite of winter chill. Feeling embarrassed and a little out of place, Bianca turned to Megan.
"I'm really sorry about this." Bianca spoke in a low voice, afraid that Megan would be upset with her. Her shoes squished, full of a mix of water and pond slime. A green bit of... something... clung to her hair.
"Don't be," Megan said brightly, smiling as she looked at Bianca. "I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't, and... I'm frankly not sure I'm ready for what might have." Megan's long hair hung stringy and wet like old ratty curtains near her face. Bits of pond plant-life were tangled there and made her look something of a sea monster, come to feast on campers.
They were interuppted by Dave coming around the old building, from the opposite direction in which Mike had left. Feeling more than a little embarrassed, the girls looked up at him sheepishly as he spotted them, silently shook his head with a small chuckle, and headed inside. He returned moments later with a stack of towels and two plastic bags for their clothes, which he left on the bench before simply saying, "there's a shower back over in that building," with a nod of his head before heading inside yet again.
"Um..." Bianca looked at the pile, then the building, then back at Megan. "What are we supposed to put on after we shower? I mean, I don't want to drag this stuff through the lodge to go get clean clothes."
"Right." Megan frowned slightly and pulled a wet clump of hair away from her face. "And where'd Mike go anyway?"
As if on cue, Mike emerged from the lodge, freshly dressed and pond scum free, carrying their bags. With his trademark cheesy grin that clearly said 'don't kill me,' he handed the girls their things before scurrying back into the lodge, making it impossible for the girls to scold, question or otherwise "re-pond" him.
With obvious confusion written on their faces, the girls looked at each other and shrugged, before making their way up to the building Dave had indicated. Taking turns with the only shower in the building, the girls talked over the wall about nothing in particular, laughing as the drain swirled with muddy water and bits of plant and sludge. When they were finished and toweled off, they made their way back across the grounds to the lodge, towels and clothes-filled plastic bags in one hand and their travel bags in the other. Not having brought other shoes, Bianca's feet slushed in her still-soaked sneakers, not having wanted to walk across the grounds barefoot. Pausing at the lodge door to take them off and towel dry her feet, Bianca silently wished that they'd dry by morning.
Headed back into the lodge, clad in their pajamas, they were greeted by Dave, Willow and Mike preparing dinner in the large kitchen. Pots bubbled on the stove and Mike tossed a salad in the corner while Willow made garlic bread. Feeling just a touch out of place, Bianca, tugged on Megan's sweatshirt sleeve and nodded back to the room they were staying in, holding up the bags as if to say 'we'll go take care of these.' Shuffling past the kitchen group in her now bare feet, Bianca kept her eyes down. She was feeling increasingly uncomfortable, like she was intruding on Mike's camp space and his time with Megan. She distinctively got the impression that he'd brought Megan there to introduce to his camp family and Bianca was just there to make Megan feel comfortable.
Dinner was a mix of uncomfortable silence, punctuated by the odd embarrassing story about Mike's hijinks as a camper and then as a counselor, and the awkward attempts of Dave and Willow to get to know Megan. With the dishes cleared away and the dishwasher set to 'ear-splitting,' the group retreated to the living room, where, Bianca and Megan had assumed the caretakers would take their leave. But instead, Mike persuaded the couple to stay with him, pull out the guitar and sing camp songs. So while Bianca and Megan had pulled out their books to attempt to do some studying - the purported purpose of this trip - they instead played audience to a full set of folk songs, camp favorites and the occasional round. By the time the trio tired of singing, it was clearly time for sleeping, the day having been rather full and still, rather unproductive.
Turning in for the night, Mike took a top bunk over the bed Megan had selected while Bianca settled into a bottom bunk across the room. Megan shot Mike and inquisitive look as he climbed into the bed above hers. There were at least five other beds available in the room. "Why a top bunk?" she asked, clearly also implying why the top bunk above her.
"Too tall," he said simply, pointing to his head. "I hit it. Plus, it reminds me of a joke we tell here all the time."
Bianca looked at Megan. Megan looked at Bianca. Mike's jokes were... sometimes suspect. But before they could say anything, he proceeded to tell it.
"So, this guy, he shares a room with his younger brother. Older brother is on the top bunk, younger on the bottom. Well, the older brother's girlfriend is staying the night in the guest room and sneaks in to theirs and climbs into the bunk. 'Ok, remember the plan,' the older brother whispers. 'Bread for faster, lettuce for slower, tomato when it's good.' So, they're having sex and the girl is going 'bread... bread... tomato.. lettuce, lettuce...tomato. Tomato! TOMATO!' in hushed, hurried whispers. And it's working out great." Mike paused there for a moment, grinning evilly.
"And then the younger brother pipes up from the bottom bunk. 'Could you two stop making sandwiches up there? You're getting mayonnaise on my face."
Mike bursts into hysterical laughter while the girls just sort of look at each other, not really sure if they're amused or kind of disgusted. Looking at each other knowingly, rather than respond verbally, they both grab their pillows and throw them at the top bunk.
"What? What'd I say?" Mike flails as the pillows hit him in the face mid-laugh. He tossed the pillows back, but not without first threatening to keep them.
"Good night, Mike," Bianca says, catching her pillow and tucking it under her head. "Megan." It wasn't a conversation worth having.
"Night."
"Night."
Bianca drifted off easily enough, but it was a light rest on an unfamiliar lumpy mattress in a building that betrayed a bit of wear and tear with its creaking walls in the wind and the draft that carried across the floor. Waking up, shivering, Bianca wondered if perhaps the top bunk would have been the wise choice when she heard voices. Flipping her head to face the source of the noise, Bianca squinted. Eyes crusted with morning goop, plus not having her glasses, she could barely make out the shapes of, not one, but two people, wrapped together in a blanket on the bottom bunk. From her vantage point, they seemed to be oblivious to her presence in the room as they whispered, and cuddled and... Bianca heard a lip-smacking noise. And kiss, it seemed. Bianca groaned, barely audibly, but enough that they paused their conversation and listened to see if, either, they had disturbed her or they were about to get caught. Bianca's stomach churned. So much for all of Megan's "I don't know what I want this to be" and "Thank you for being here so it doesn't get too serious."
Mike and Megan had only paused their conversation for a moment, and soon their voices met Bianca's ear again. And then a kiss. And another. And a giggle. Determined not to interuppt - Bianca was feeling terribly like a third wheel by this point - Bianca flopped around in her bed, feigning sleep and jammed the pillow over her head as she faced the wall. She wouldn't actually fall back asleep, but she wouldn't tell them that.
As they made their way back to the car later that day, having eaten, packed and not managed to do a single bit of studying, Megan pulled Bianca aside as Mike went back into the lodge to say goodbye to Dave and Willow. Megan's eyes searched Bianca's face, looking sad but serious. Bianca's brow furrowed, as she betrayed a puzzled expression.
"I... I think we might be a couple now?" Megan asked more than she told, her voice low and uncertain.
"You think? Well, isn't it you either are or aren't?" Bianca tilted her head to the side, considering her friend.
"Well, we talked this morning, before you woke up," Megan paused and Bianca tried her best to not betray that she had, in fact, been awake, "and I told him I wasn't sure because I didn't want to get hurt and he said that he would never let that happen. That he wouldn't want what happened to him to happen to me." Megan frowned. "And then he asked me not to hurt him, either. That he couldn't do it again and that he wasn't sure for the same reason. And I said ok. And he said ok. And then we kissed.
"But, I don't know. Does that mean we're a couple? And I have no idea what happened to him." Megan looked back at the lodge, making sure that he wasn't about to emerge.
"Maybe it does? You'd have to ask him that, though. I mean, if it's what you want," Bianca said noncommitally. Megan was her friend now too, but she felt a deeper allegiance to Mike, given their history. She didn't want to see either hurt, but especially not Mike. "And as for what happened," Bianca began to speak, but was distracted by a clanging sound that could only be the screen door swining open and then bouncing shut. Mike was back.
Mike made his way past the girls and began loading bags into the car, smiling sweetly at Megan as he passed. Bianca thought Megan needed to know... needed to know so that she wouldn't hurt Mike. So Bianca wouldn't have to be the girl whose the friend who only picks up the pieces but doesn't get the guy, again.
Dropping her voice low, Bianca put her hand on Megan's shoulder and steered her away from the car. "His last girlfriend got pregnant, aborted the baby he desperately wanted, and then cheated on him."
Bianca paused, letting the facts sink in as she watched Megan's face fall. "So, whatever you do, just don't hurt him." Bianca's eyes grew large and sad. She'd wanted to be the one to help Mike, be there for him, as more than a friend. If Megan hurt him, Bianca didn't know if he'd get put back together again. "It's like kicking a small, lost puppy."
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Chapter One - Part Two
Mike, clad in an oversized Sabres jersey and baggy cargo shorts, raised a lanky arm and rapped on the door. Bianca, for her part, stood with a pained expression on her face, completely oblivious to Mike, wishing she hadn't worn such a revealing shirt. Before she could turn and run, or make an excuse to go change or anything else, the door opened. In the doorway stood Megan Tesarik, dressed in striped pink pajama pants and a small pale pink cami, her dirty blonde hair pulled back into a low ponytail.
"Mike!" She smiled brightly, seeing him, and gave him a quick hug. "I'm so glad you could come!" Releasing him and then turning to Bianca, the smile faded into a courteous nod. "Bianca." Her voice was flat.
Great, thought Bianca, not only am I here to be a wingman, I'm here because he wants to get with MEGAN. Her insides churned, feeling at once betrayed and outdone. Of course Mike liked her; what wasn't to like? Bianca smiled politely and returned the nod. "Megan." Bianca wondered if she should excuse herself and be spared having to spend the night watching them canoodle and flirt. But at the same time, she felt like she had something to prove. Whether it was to Megan or Mike or to herself, sticking this evening out was something she was suddently determined to do. What it would prove, she didn't know, but it woudl prove something.
As soon as Megan stepped aside and led them into the room, Bianca wished she'd chosen differently. Sitting on the floor, talking to a girl Bianca didn't know, was Tim. The same Tim that months earlier had told Bianca that he loved her, fucked her, and left her. Bianca's eyes grew wide as she made her way into the room and chose a spot on the floor in the corner, as far as she could get from both Megan and Mike and Tim and the mystery girl. Pulling her knees up to her chest, Bianca began to feel rather selfconscious, particularly as her cleavage popped out of her shirt.
How could I have been so stupid, she chastised herself internally. Sneaking a glance over at Tim, she saw him do the same before saying something to the girl and then laughing. Her spirits fell. She was convinced that they were laughing at her. She could feel the tears welling in her eyes as she considered the situation. Her self-loathing was interuppted by Megan beginning to do introductions.
"Everyone, this is Mike and," pointing over to the corner, "that's Bianca." Megan seemed polite enough, but Bianca was feeling extra cyncial.
Giving a little half wave from her corner, Bianca only marginally paid attention to the rest of the introductions. Six or seven other girls were spread around the room, most in pajamas. She didn't really recognize any of them and couldn't tell you who was actually there if asked later. Well, except for being accutely aware that Tim was there. She still saw him occassionally - Mike was his only friend left, too - and for some reason those interactions didn't hurt nearly as much as seeing him tonight did. Offering a small, "hey" when Megan concluded her introductions with a sympathetic sounding, "and... well, you know Tim," Bianca resolved to get through the evening however she needed to, though she wouldn't like it.
Her thoughts were interuppted by Megan. "So, thanks for coming! And thanks Rachel and Stacey for letting us hang out here. I thought it would be nice to hang out and not have to deal with the crazy people on campus alone." Megan laughed and Bianca allowed herself a smirk. Megan was right, after all. The weather was getting better and spring weekend was approaching. That clearly meant lots of drunken rowdiness about campus, but this dorm was relatively quiet for the time being. If you weren't into that scene, might as well hang out with those of like mind.
"So, I figured we'd watch some movies," Megan offered cheerily, sitting cross-legged on the bed near Mike. "I think it could be cool if they had some sort of weird connection." Megan sounded a little sheepish, as if what she was suggesting was the height of un-cool. Bianca, on the other hand, was interested in seeing where this was going, while she also noticed Tim roll his eyes.
"I really wanted to watch Alice in Wonderland," one of the unknown girls offered, quietly, seemingly embarrassed by her suggestion.
Megan piped right up. "I think that's great!" She was bouncy and scanned the room with her eyes. "Connected movies?"
"Another Disney movie?" Someone offered and Megan nodded, taking note of the suggestion.
"The Wizard of Oz. Lost girl in a different world." Another voice piped up.
"Dogma."
Bianca hadn't been paying attention until she heard someone suggest Dogma. She wasn't sure who had, but it piqued her interest. She hadn't seen it, but if someone could make a connection between Alice in Wonderland and Dogma, well, that person couldn't be half bad.
"What's the connection?" Another voice called out.
"Well, I don't know if this is what she had in mind, but," Megan offered. "The story of the walrus and the carpenter is the connection." Megan grinned, folding her hands in her lap and leaning her bony shoulders forward. Mike leaned back against the wall, clearly confused, chewing absently mindedly on his lip.
Bianca looked up and brushed her hair out of her face. She knew the skeleton outline of the story, but had no idea where it appeared in Dogma. But, at least for the moment, her skepticism about the evening disappeared and she thought she might actually give this a chance. "Let's do that combo." It was the first she'd spoken and it surprised her when everyone turned around to look her way. "I mean..." She stuttered for a moment. "If that's ok with everyone." Biance pulled her knees closer to her chest as everyone looked at her. It had been the first time she'd offered anything; indeed, it had been the first time that night she'd been comfortable, but it seemed the others saw her as an intrustion.
"I agree with Bianca," Megan offered breaking the silence and smiling. "Besides, they're two good movies."
As she climbed down from the bed to rummage through the box of movies, she smiled at Bianca again, as if to reassure her. As Bianca smiled back, she heard a chuckle and turned to look in the direction it had come from. Again, Tim was looking at her and then turning back to the other girl, whispering. They then both laughed as they turned to look at Bianca again.
I will not make a scene. I will not make a scene. Bianca blinked hard to fight the tears that were welling up. She felt like a fool. Picking at her cuticles, she hazarded a glance around the room. Megan had put the movie in and was back on the bed, flirting with Mike. A cluster of girls was leaning against the other bed, watching the opening advertisements and Tim was, well, if he wasn't actually making fun of Bianca, it certainly looked like he was.
Standing, suddenly, Bianca spoke, her voice low and somber. "I'm, uh, feeling a little chilly. I'm going to go grab a sweatshirt." She grabbed her bag and hurried out of the room, hearing the girl with Tim mutter something that elicited a laugh. As the door closed behind her, Bianca let the tears that had been threatening to fall, cascade down her cheeks, dragging along lines of mascara as they fell. She stood for a moment in the hallway, unsure of where to go as drunk girls stumbled by her. Taking just a moment to clear her head, Bianca spun on her heels and headed for the stairs back up to her room.
As she reached the top floor, she was confronted by rowdy, drunk students, lurching up and down the hallways, cans of Keystone Light clenched in their fists. "Biaaanca," one slurred. "You look like.. *hiccup* hell. Have a drink!" It was Drunk Jen, resident alcohol-poisoning record holder. As she thrust the can into Bianca hand, she stumbled and leaned against the wall. "Whoa. Spinning. Cool." She no longer noticed Bianca and so as she backed away, Bianca placed the can down on the floor, and scurried to her own room. "Ooo, free beer!" she heard Drunk Jen exclaim in the hall, having seen the can but not recognizing it as the one she had already given away.
Slamming the door behind her, Bianca leaned against it and slid to the ground, finally allowing herself to full-on cry. Gasping and sobbing and trying to breathe, she berated herself for being so foolish. Of course Mike didn't like her. And of course Tim would be around. Really, the only thing she could do was hole up in her room and avoid them all for the rest of the semester. Banging her fists against the door, tears still streaming down her face, Bianca decided to call it a night. Standing up slowly, she peeled off the tight top and replaced it with a baggy SFU sweatshirt. Digging through her purse for a tissue to wipe her face, she noticed her phone vibrating sporadically.
Digging the phone out of her purse, Bianca flipped it open. One new text message from an unknown number. The confusion apparent on her face, Bianca opened the message.
It's Megan. Mike gave me ur #. Pls come back. Sorry they were rude.
Bianca sighed. Now she'd be the rude one if she didn't go back. She had to admit, she did feel a little better knowing that at least someone wanted her there, though it stung a little that the message had come from Megan and not Mike. Her own friend didn't even try to see what was wrong. Then again, Bianca knew Mike to be rather oblivious to things that girls might pick up on.
Staring at her reflection in the mirrior, Bianca set the phone down and then dabbed the tissue across her cheeks, rolling it gently to get the runny mascara without leaving black streaks across her face. Shaking out her curled hair, Bianca let it tumble down her back. Brushing it away from her face, she took out the bobby pins and then tossed it into a loose ponytail. Sitting in the desk chair, then, she traded her dress boots for sneakers. Looking in the mirror again, it was like a whole new person. She's gone from desperate, super made-up, please like me Bianca to it's Friday and I'm hanging out having pizza Bianca.
Picking her phone back up, she quickly typed a response to Megan, threw the phone back in her purse, threw the purse over her shoulder and headed out the door. Back in the hallway, the drunken students had mostly stumbled into rooms. Bianca stepped over empty cups, crushed cans and piles of condom wrappers, rolling her eyes. She couldn't wait until she was off this floor, and, despite the discomfort from earlier, part of her was glad to be headed to a group of people who weren't interested in getting super trashed for no reason.
When she reached the room and knocked, Megan opened the door, smiling brightly. She'd tossed a sweatshirt over her cami and gestured to a free spot on one of the beds. Looking around the room, Bianca noticed that Tim and the random girl were gone. She felt a strange mix of relief and regret. Had they left because of her? Had they left... together? Shaking the thought from her head, she climbed up unto the open bed, noticing that Mike was spread across the other, asleep, and sorta snoring. His Sabre's jersey had ridden up, exposing his stomach. Had it been in any other room, he would have found permanent marker drawings there the next morning. But here? Not here.
"I guess the movie just didn't hold his attention," Megan chuckled, setting on the bed next to Bianca. Two other girls were playing a card game on the floor, also ignoring the movie. "Do you want to turn it off?"
"Nah, let it go," Bianca said, leaning against the cinderblock wall. "It's totally trippy and I want to watch Dogma after it, anyway." Bianca shrugged. It was something to do. As she stretched, trying to get comfortable on the lumpy mattress, her stomach let out an embarrassingly loud grumble. "Er. Excuse me." Her cheeks flushed.
Laughing, gently, Megan waved her hand, "Don't worry about it. I'm starving too. It's only a matter of time." Megan hopped off the bed to grab her phone and punched a number in from memory. "Hello? Yeah, can I get one large pizza with pepperoni and ricotta? Loughlin hall, yeah. Thanks." Snapping the phone shut, she hopped back up on the bed. "Twenty minutes."
By the time the pizza had arrived, Mike had rolled over and planted his face directly in a pillow, a position he would remain in for the rest of the evening, one of the other girls had left, and it was just Megan, Bianca and... a girl whose name Bianca couldn't remember. The three of them sat on the floor around the open pizza box as the second movie of the evening started.
"This first scene might be my favorite part of the movie," Megan mentioned offhandedly as she grabbed a drippy piece of pizza from the box. The ricotta was slid off each piece, threatening to stain any shirt that dared get too close.
"Rwwlly?" Nameless girl asked the question with her mouth full of cheese, barely looking up.
"Kitty, careful or you'll choke." Megan laughed as she dabbed the top of her slice with a spare paper towel.
Bianca simply observed. So Kitty was the girl's name. Right. Bianca recognized her from.. somewhere. She was a friend of Mike's too, sort of. Maybe that's how he'd met Megan?
"Oh.. shhh, this is the best part!" Kitty had been about to speak, but Megan flailed her hands and quieted the room. On screen, Matt Damon's character expounded on the reason's why a Lewis Carroll poem was an indictment of all organized religion, both eastern and western.
"That's... that's genius." Bianca burst it a fit of giggles. "The carpenter... and the walrus... and we're the clams..." Bianca's speech was stilted, interrupted by gasps for air and fits of laughter. It was late and she was clearly punchy. A Theology major, she was actually quite appreciative of such critiques, though others in her department found her enjoyment a bit, well, distasteful.
"I know, right?" Megan laughed along with her, pausing only to take a bite of her pizza. "MMM. Greatest. combo. ever." Megan closed her eyes as she ate, a look of satisfaction on her face.
Kitty, for her part, simply ate her pizza and looked better the two girls. "I.. don't know that I get it," she shrugged as she spoke. "But, I don't know much about religion, so maybe that's why."
Bianca shrugged as well, taking her first bite of pizza. "Ooo, this is good. I never would have put this together." She nodded appreciatively at Megan. Turning to Kitty, she swallowed. "I don't know, maybe? I've never seen the movie so I don't know where it goes from here."
Megan's eyes grew wide. "You've never seen this? Well, let's stop talking, then, and watch!"
Well, they did watch, but they didn't stop talking. For most of the night, Megan and Bianca shared jokes about the movie and its implied criticisms of Catholicism, the Buddy Christ bobble-head that Bianca had in her room, and, occasionally, about the sleeping boy on the bed.
When the movie finally ended, Kitty looked at her clock. "Time for you all to get out of my room; Mike can stay, he's out." She smiled, wearily, and Bianca could tell that their welcome was officially at an end.
As she walked back up to her floor, Megan along side, she was astounded when she found out where Megan's room was. "You live on my floor? How is it possible that we've never hung out before?"
Megan shrugged before walking further down the hall and turning the corner. "Good night!" she called back.
Bianca turned the knob and headed into her room. Maybe tonight wasn't a total waste after all.
"Mike!" She smiled brightly, seeing him, and gave him a quick hug. "I'm so glad you could come!" Releasing him and then turning to Bianca, the smile faded into a courteous nod. "Bianca." Her voice was flat.
Great, thought Bianca, not only am I here to be a wingman, I'm here because he wants to get with MEGAN. Her insides churned, feeling at once betrayed and outdone. Of course Mike liked her; what wasn't to like? Bianca smiled politely and returned the nod. "Megan." Bianca wondered if she should excuse herself and be spared having to spend the night watching them canoodle and flirt. But at the same time, she felt like she had something to prove. Whether it was to Megan or Mike or to herself, sticking this evening out was something she was suddently determined to do. What it would prove, she didn't know, but it woudl prove something.
As soon as Megan stepped aside and led them into the room, Bianca wished she'd chosen differently. Sitting on the floor, talking to a girl Bianca didn't know, was Tim. The same Tim that months earlier had told Bianca that he loved her, fucked her, and left her. Bianca's eyes grew wide as she made her way into the room and chose a spot on the floor in the corner, as far as she could get from both Megan and Mike and Tim and the mystery girl. Pulling her knees up to her chest, Bianca began to feel rather selfconscious, particularly as her cleavage popped out of her shirt.
How could I have been so stupid, she chastised herself internally. Sneaking a glance over at Tim, she saw him do the same before saying something to the girl and then laughing. Her spirits fell. She was convinced that they were laughing at her. She could feel the tears welling in her eyes as she considered the situation. Her self-loathing was interuppted by Megan beginning to do introductions.
"Everyone, this is Mike and," pointing over to the corner, "that's Bianca." Megan seemed polite enough, but Bianca was feeling extra cyncial.
Giving a little half wave from her corner, Bianca only marginally paid attention to the rest of the introductions. Six or seven other girls were spread around the room, most in pajamas. She didn't really recognize any of them and couldn't tell you who was actually there if asked later. Well, except for being accutely aware that Tim was there. She still saw him occassionally - Mike was his only friend left, too - and for some reason those interactions didn't hurt nearly as much as seeing him tonight did. Offering a small, "hey" when Megan concluded her introductions with a sympathetic sounding, "and... well, you know Tim," Bianca resolved to get through the evening however she needed to, though she wouldn't like it.
Her thoughts were interuppted by Megan. "So, thanks for coming! And thanks Rachel and Stacey for letting us hang out here. I thought it would be nice to hang out and not have to deal with the crazy people on campus alone." Megan laughed and Bianca allowed herself a smirk. Megan was right, after all. The weather was getting better and spring weekend was approaching. That clearly meant lots of drunken rowdiness about campus, but this dorm was relatively quiet for the time being. If you weren't into that scene, might as well hang out with those of like mind.
"So, I figured we'd watch some movies," Megan offered cheerily, sitting cross-legged on the bed near Mike. "I think it could be cool if they had some sort of weird connection." Megan sounded a little sheepish, as if what she was suggesting was the height of un-cool. Bianca, on the other hand, was interested in seeing where this was going, while she also noticed Tim roll his eyes.
"I really wanted to watch Alice in Wonderland," one of the unknown girls offered, quietly, seemingly embarrassed by her suggestion.
Megan piped right up. "I think that's great!" She was bouncy and scanned the room with her eyes. "Connected movies?"
"Another Disney movie?" Someone offered and Megan nodded, taking note of the suggestion.
"The Wizard of Oz. Lost girl in a different world." Another voice piped up.
"Dogma."
Bianca hadn't been paying attention until she heard someone suggest Dogma. She wasn't sure who had, but it piqued her interest. She hadn't seen it, but if someone could make a connection between Alice in Wonderland and Dogma, well, that person couldn't be half bad.
"What's the connection?" Another voice called out.
"Well, I don't know if this is what she had in mind, but," Megan offered. "The story of the walrus and the carpenter is the connection." Megan grinned, folding her hands in her lap and leaning her bony shoulders forward. Mike leaned back against the wall, clearly confused, chewing absently mindedly on his lip.
Bianca looked up and brushed her hair out of her face. She knew the skeleton outline of the story, but had no idea where it appeared in Dogma. But, at least for the moment, her skepticism about the evening disappeared and she thought she might actually give this a chance. "Let's do that combo." It was the first she'd spoken and it surprised her when everyone turned around to look her way. "I mean..." She stuttered for a moment. "If that's ok with everyone." Biance pulled her knees closer to her chest as everyone looked at her. It had been the first time she'd offered anything; indeed, it had been the first time that night she'd been comfortable, but it seemed the others saw her as an intrustion.
"I agree with Bianca," Megan offered breaking the silence and smiling. "Besides, they're two good movies."
As she climbed down from the bed to rummage through the box of movies, she smiled at Bianca again, as if to reassure her. As Bianca smiled back, she heard a chuckle and turned to look in the direction it had come from. Again, Tim was looking at her and then turning back to the other girl, whispering. They then both laughed as they turned to look at Bianca again.
I will not make a scene. I will not make a scene. Bianca blinked hard to fight the tears that were welling up. She felt like a fool. Picking at her cuticles, she hazarded a glance around the room. Megan had put the movie in and was back on the bed, flirting with Mike. A cluster of girls was leaning against the other bed, watching the opening advertisements and Tim was, well, if he wasn't actually making fun of Bianca, it certainly looked like he was.
Standing, suddenly, Bianca spoke, her voice low and somber. "I'm, uh, feeling a little chilly. I'm going to go grab a sweatshirt." She grabbed her bag and hurried out of the room, hearing the girl with Tim mutter something that elicited a laugh. As the door closed behind her, Bianca let the tears that had been threatening to fall, cascade down her cheeks, dragging along lines of mascara as they fell. She stood for a moment in the hallway, unsure of where to go as drunk girls stumbled by her. Taking just a moment to clear her head, Bianca spun on her heels and headed for the stairs back up to her room.
As she reached the top floor, she was confronted by rowdy, drunk students, lurching up and down the hallways, cans of Keystone Light clenched in their fists. "Biaaanca," one slurred. "You look like.. *hiccup* hell. Have a drink!" It was Drunk Jen, resident alcohol-poisoning record holder. As she thrust the can into Bianca hand, she stumbled and leaned against the wall. "Whoa. Spinning. Cool." She no longer noticed Bianca and so as she backed away, Bianca placed the can down on the floor, and scurried to her own room. "Ooo, free beer!" she heard Drunk Jen exclaim in the hall, having seen the can but not recognizing it as the one she had already given away.
Slamming the door behind her, Bianca leaned against it and slid to the ground, finally allowing herself to full-on cry. Gasping and sobbing and trying to breathe, she berated herself for being so foolish. Of course Mike didn't like her. And of course Tim would be around. Really, the only thing she could do was hole up in her room and avoid them all for the rest of the semester. Banging her fists against the door, tears still streaming down her face, Bianca decided to call it a night. Standing up slowly, she peeled off the tight top and replaced it with a baggy SFU sweatshirt. Digging through her purse for a tissue to wipe her face, she noticed her phone vibrating sporadically.
Digging the phone out of her purse, Bianca flipped it open. One new text message from an unknown number. The confusion apparent on her face, Bianca opened the message.
It's Megan. Mike gave me ur #. Pls come back. Sorry they were rude.
Bianca sighed. Now she'd be the rude one if she didn't go back. She had to admit, she did feel a little better knowing that at least someone wanted her there, though it stung a little that the message had come from Megan and not Mike. Her own friend didn't even try to see what was wrong. Then again, Bianca knew Mike to be rather oblivious to things that girls might pick up on.
Staring at her reflection in the mirrior, Bianca set the phone down and then dabbed the tissue across her cheeks, rolling it gently to get the runny mascara without leaving black streaks across her face. Shaking out her curled hair, Bianca let it tumble down her back. Brushing it away from her face, she took out the bobby pins and then tossed it into a loose ponytail. Sitting in the desk chair, then, she traded her dress boots for sneakers. Looking in the mirror again, it was like a whole new person. She's gone from desperate, super made-up, please like me Bianca to it's Friday and I'm hanging out having pizza Bianca.
Picking her phone back up, she quickly typed a response to Megan, threw the phone back in her purse, threw the purse over her shoulder and headed out the door. Back in the hallway, the drunken students had mostly stumbled into rooms. Bianca stepped over empty cups, crushed cans and piles of condom wrappers, rolling her eyes. She couldn't wait until she was off this floor, and, despite the discomfort from earlier, part of her was glad to be headed to a group of people who weren't interested in getting super trashed for no reason.
When she reached the room and knocked, Megan opened the door, smiling brightly. She'd tossed a sweatshirt over her cami and gestured to a free spot on one of the beds. Looking around the room, Bianca noticed that Tim and the random girl were gone. She felt a strange mix of relief and regret. Had they left because of her? Had they left... together? Shaking the thought from her head, she climbed up unto the open bed, noticing that Mike was spread across the other, asleep, and sorta snoring. His Sabre's jersey had ridden up, exposing his stomach. Had it been in any other room, he would have found permanent marker drawings there the next morning. But here? Not here.
"I guess the movie just didn't hold his attention," Megan chuckled, setting on the bed next to Bianca. Two other girls were playing a card game on the floor, also ignoring the movie. "Do you want to turn it off?"
"Nah, let it go," Bianca said, leaning against the cinderblock wall. "It's totally trippy and I want to watch Dogma after it, anyway." Bianca shrugged. It was something to do. As she stretched, trying to get comfortable on the lumpy mattress, her stomach let out an embarrassingly loud grumble. "Er. Excuse me." Her cheeks flushed.
Laughing, gently, Megan waved her hand, "Don't worry about it. I'm starving too. It's only a matter of time." Megan hopped off the bed to grab her phone and punched a number in from memory. "Hello? Yeah, can I get one large pizza with pepperoni and ricotta? Loughlin hall, yeah. Thanks." Snapping the phone shut, she hopped back up on the bed. "Twenty minutes."
By the time the pizza had arrived, Mike had rolled over and planted his face directly in a pillow, a position he would remain in for the rest of the evening, one of the other girls had left, and it was just Megan, Bianca and... a girl whose name Bianca couldn't remember. The three of them sat on the floor around the open pizza box as the second movie of the evening started.
"This first scene might be my favorite part of the movie," Megan mentioned offhandedly as she grabbed a drippy piece of pizza from the box. The ricotta was slid off each piece, threatening to stain any shirt that dared get too close.
"Rwwlly?" Nameless girl asked the question with her mouth full of cheese, barely looking up.
"Kitty, careful or you'll choke." Megan laughed as she dabbed the top of her slice with a spare paper towel.
Bianca simply observed. So Kitty was the girl's name. Right. Bianca recognized her from.. somewhere. She was a friend of Mike's too, sort of. Maybe that's how he'd met Megan?
"Oh.. shhh, this is the best part!" Kitty had been about to speak, but Megan flailed her hands and quieted the room. On screen, Matt Damon's character expounded on the reason's why a Lewis Carroll poem was an indictment of all organized religion, both eastern and western.
"That's... that's genius." Bianca burst it a fit of giggles. "The carpenter... and the walrus... and we're the clams..." Bianca's speech was stilted, interrupted by gasps for air and fits of laughter. It was late and she was clearly punchy. A Theology major, she was actually quite appreciative of such critiques, though others in her department found her enjoyment a bit, well, distasteful.
"I know, right?" Megan laughed along with her, pausing only to take a bite of her pizza. "MMM. Greatest. combo. ever." Megan closed her eyes as she ate, a look of satisfaction on her face.
Kitty, for her part, simply ate her pizza and looked better the two girls. "I.. don't know that I get it," she shrugged as she spoke. "But, I don't know much about religion, so maybe that's why."
Bianca shrugged as well, taking her first bite of pizza. "Ooo, this is good. I never would have put this together." She nodded appreciatively at Megan. Turning to Kitty, she swallowed. "I don't know, maybe? I've never seen the movie so I don't know where it goes from here."
Megan's eyes grew wide. "You've never seen this? Well, let's stop talking, then, and watch!"
Well, they did watch, but they didn't stop talking. For most of the night, Megan and Bianca shared jokes about the movie and its implied criticisms of Catholicism, the Buddy Christ bobble-head that Bianca had in her room, and, occasionally, about the sleeping boy on the bed.
When the movie finally ended, Kitty looked at her clock. "Time for you all to get out of my room; Mike can stay, he's out." She smiled, wearily, and Bianca could tell that their welcome was officially at an end.
As she walked back up to her floor, Megan along side, she was astounded when she found out where Megan's room was. "You live on my floor? How is it possible that we've never hung out before?"
Megan shrugged before walking further down the hall and turning the corner. "Good night!" she called back.
Bianca turned the knob and headed into her room. Maybe tonight wasn't a total waste after all.
Chapter One - Part One
Meeting the Idiots
Bianca
Megan Tesarik was intimidating. Or at least I thought so. We took a class together our first semester. I still remember where she sat - five seats to my left around an oval table in the honors seminar room. She was smart and I, used to being the big fish in a small pond, did not take kindly to other people doing better than me. Plus, she was pretty and I was... not. At my high school, that was how it went. The pretty ones weren't smart and the smart ones weren't pretty. I was at least at the top of one of the piles. But pretty and smart? How was I supposed to compete with that? Because that's how I saw her. Competition. So, if someone had told me that a year later she'd be one of my best friends, I would have thought they were crazy. But that's what happened. How it happened is... strange.
I had this friend, Mike Sparrow, who, at the end of freshman year, was my only friend left from the beginning. He and his girlfriend and me and my boyfriend had double dated a lot. And then his girlfriend cheated on him. So Mike became our lost puppy / third wheel that we couldn't shake. That was, until I got dumped. My boyfriend, Tim, had sat me down on my bed three days before Valentine's day to tell me he didn't love me and that we were breaking up. Tim did a lot of telling, so looking back, it was for the best, but at the time, I was crushed. So I did the only natural thing. I developed a crush on Mike. He was broken, too. He'd gotten his girlfriend pregnant and she'd had an abortion without telling him and then cheated on him. She had been my friend - I sat with her while we waited for the pregnancy test to come back - but what she did to Mike was like kicking an already hurt puppy. Mike was my only friend left and I was convinced we should get together. It made sense in my head.
So, my own relationship up in flames, I jumped at the chance when he asked me to hang out with him and this other group of people on a Friday night. I usually spent my fridays alone in my room, working on homework. I actually thought that it might be my chance to convince Mike it was a good thing for us to be together. Little did I know, a girl I was sorta friends with had already told Mike how I felt and he'd let her know that he only liked me as a friend. Well, no one told me that. Retrospectively, it makes sense how many times Kim told me that I should give up on Mike. She knew and she didn't want to see me hurt.
But I was determined. So the night for us to hang out rolls around and I'm in my room trying to figure out what to wear. Not exactly knowing where we were going, I opted for a lowcut shirt and a pair of jeans. Now, you have to understand, I had huge boobs, so a lowcut shirt was definitely putting on a show. Well, Mike shows up at my room wearing a hockey jersey and smelling oddly... was that cologne? By this point, I'm convinced it's a date and I bound out of my room, giddy, my wavy hair having been meticulously curled and put up. I asked him where we were going and he told that we were going to hang out with some folks a few floors down and that he was so glad that I'd agreed to come with him.
My heart raced. This was totally a date. So we're walking down the stairs and I ask him who we're hanging out with. He doesn't give me names, just vague 'people I know from class' and 'thanks again so so much.' By this point, I'm getting confused, majorly. My smile is faltering and we get to the door and he stops. I remember what he said like it was yesterday because my heart sunk into my stomach and it took everything I had not to burst into tears. "There's this girl I really like," he says, "and she's going to be here. I'm really glad you came along. It's nice to have a friend for support."
Before I could answer, Mike knocks on the door. I feel like I've been punched in the gut. I'm a WINGMAN? The cologne, the 'what do girls like' questions, the nervous energy... all for another girl. I had half a mind to turn and leave, but my feet wouldn't let me. All I could do was meekly smile, trying not to burst into tears.
That's when the door opened. And standing in that doorway? Megan Tesarik.
Bianca
Megan Tesarik was intimidating. Or at least I thought so. We took a class together our first semester. I still remember where she sat - five seats to my left around an oval table in the honors seminar room. She was smart and I, used to being the big fish in a small pond, did not take kindly to other people doing better than me. Plus, she was pretty and I was... not. At my high school, that was how it went. The pretty ones weren't smart and the smart ones weren't pretty. I was at least at the top of one of the piles. But pretty and smart? How was I supposed to compete with that? Because that's how I saw her. Competition. So, if someone had told me that a year later she'd be one of my best friends, I would have thought they were crazy. But that's what happened. How it happened is... strange.
I had this friend, Mike Sparrow, who, at the end of freshman year, was my only friend left from the beginning. He and his girlfriend and me and my boyfriend had double dated a lot. And then his girlfriend cheated on him. So Mike became our lost puppy / third wheel that we couldn't shake. That was, until I got dumped. My boyfriend, Tim, had sat me down on my bed three days before Valentine's day to tell me he didn't love me and that we were breaking up. Tim did a lot of telling, so looking back, it was for the best, but at the time, I was crushed. So I did the only natural thing. I developed a crush on Mike. He was broken, too. He'd gotten his girlfriend pregnant and she'd had an abortion without telling him and then cheated on him. She had been my friend - I sat with her while we waited for the pregnancy test to come back - but what she did to Mike was like kicking an already hurt puppy. Mike was my only friend left and I was convinced we should get together. It made sense in my head.
So, my own relationship up in flames, I jumped at the chance when he asked me to hang out with him and this other group of people on a Friday night. I usually spent my fridays alone in my room, working on homework. I actually thought that it might be my chance to convince Mike it was a good thing for us to be together. Little did I know, a girl I was sorta friends with had already told Mike how I felt and he'd let her know that he only liked me as a friend. Well, no one told me that. Retrospectively, it makes sense how many times Kim told me that I should give up on Mike. She knew and she didn't want to see me hurt.
But I was determined. So the night for us to hang out rolls around and I'm in my room trying to figure out what to wear. Not exactly knowing where we were going, I opted for a lowcut shirt and a pair of jeans. Now, you have to understand, I had huge boobs, so a lowcut shirt was definitely putting on a show. Well, Mike shows up at my room wearing a hockey jersey and smelling oddly... was that cologne? By this point, I'm convinced it's a date and I bound out of my room, giddy, my wavy hair having been meticulously curled and put up. I asked him where we were going and he told that we were going to hang out with some folks a few floors down and that he was so glad that I'd agreed to come with him.
My heart raced. This was totally a date. So we're walking down the stairs and I ask him who we're hanging out with. He doesn't give me names, just vague 'people I know from class' and 'thanks again so so much.' By this point, I'm getting confused, majorly. My smile is faltering and we get to the door and he stops. I remember what he said like it was yesterday because my heart sunk into my stomach and it took everything I had not to burst into tears. "There's this girl I really like," he says, "and she's going to be here. I'm really glad you came along. It's nice to have a friend for support."
Before I could answer, Mike knocks on the door. I feel like I've been punched in the gut. I'm a WINGMAN? The cologne, the 'what do girls like' questions, the nervous energy... all for another girl. I had half a mind to turn and leave, but my feet wouldn't let me. All I could do was meekly smile, trying not to burst into tears.
That's when the door opened. And standing in that doorway? Megan Tesarik.
Prologue
My mother always told me that I'd find my best friend in college. That whatever I thought about what friendship had meant in high school would go sailing out the window and I would meet someone that would be my best friend for the rest of my life.
I thought she was crazy. I thought that she was insulting my friends from high school, insinuating that they weren't really true friends and that they were replaceable. I wanted so very much, at the time, for her to be wrong.
But she wasn't.
I fought against it for a long time. My first year was filled with superficial friends who came and went as the seasons changed, and a boyfriend who ended up ruining my idea of relationships for years. But as the last few months of my freshman year wrapped up, all that changed. I met The Idiots and my life was never the same. People cringe when they hear that We called ourselves the Idiot Club, thinking it a name that was insulting or demeaning. But we didn't see it that way. Sure, it was given to us by one of our brothers after we got lost in the city of Rochester because I couldn't read a set of simple written directions, but it stuck. We were smart, for sure, but together we sometimes did really stupid things. And so we were The Idiot Club. And as you can probably guess, this is our story.
We've all been out of school for a few years now, but what happened to us over those four years is something that will never go away. It was hard. People tell me sometimes that they look back on their college years with such fondness that they wish they could go relive it. Except for my Idiots, I look back at college and wonder why the hell we put ourselves through that. Why would I want to go back to the crying and the lying and the drinking and the daily gnawing in my stomach that I don't belong there. If I had to give a reason, not for wanting to never go back, but for wanting to go back, it would be my Idiots. Together, we made things bearable for each other. Though, admittedly, sometimes we made them worse, too.
The year we all moved in together started off rough. Someone had asked one of my roommates if they were worried about living with me because I was, "you know, like that." No explanation or anything given, but there was a huge confrontation in our living room three days after the semester started. And for weeks, I wondered if we'd bounce back from it. I don't know that we ever did, so much else was going on.
There was always so much else going on. Put four girls together in an apartment, and there's never a drama free moment. Hell, put four girls together in the dining hall for a few hours and there's never a drame free moment. We were a mixed bag. We loved each other and sometimes, we hated each other. But, even when we hated each other, we were there for each other. Even now, years later, if I have a problem, I call my favorite Idiot.
My mom was right. I met the best friend I'd ever have.
This is our story. This is how four girls went from complete strangers to best friends and then began to unravel. How boys and booze and sickness and death threatened to make our lives miserable. And in a lot of ways, succeeded. We were four Idiots, but now we're three. And we did it to ourselves.
This isn't a happy story. Sure, it has happy moments. And I turned out alright. But the story itself? What happened to us? Not a happy story in the slightest. It is, instead, a story about persevering, the testing of friendship and a lot of tears. It has its funny moments, sure. But when I tell this story, my stomach hurts and my heart aches. I wish it could have been so much different.
It was different for the others in a lot of ways - not entirely - because each of us carried something: something heavy and unwieldy. But that something was different. So I'll tell you parts of the story, but so will they. They'll share with you what they thought, too. Because sometimes, as much as I hate to admit it, they didn't like me very much. I wasn't a likable person, really, until the Idiots. And after, well, sometimes I'm still not. But that's just me. Bianca.
Megan and Stacey and Rachel were my best friends. And some of them still are.
I thought she was crazy. I thought that she was insulting my friends from high school, insinuating that they weren't really true friends and that they were replaceable. I wanted so very much, at the time, for her to be wrong.
But she wasn't.
I fought against it for a long time. My first year was filled with superficial friends who came and went as the seasons changed, and a boyfriend who ended up ruining my idea of relationships for years. But as the last few months of my freshman year wrapped up, all that changed. I met The Idiots and my life was never the same. People cringe when they hear that We called ourselves the Idiot Club, thinking it a name that was insulting or demeaning. But we didn't see it that way. Sure, it was given to us by one of our brothers after we got lost in the city of Rochester because I couldn't read a set of simple written directions, but it stuck. We were smart, for sure, but together we sometimes did really stupid things. And so we were The Idiot Club. And as you can probably guess, this is our story.
We've all been out of school for a few years now, but what happened to us over those four years is something that will never go away. It was hard. People tell me sometimes that they look back on their college years with such fondness that they wish they could go relive it. Except for my Idiots, I look back at college and wonder why the hell we put ourselves through that. Why would I want to go back to the crying and the lying and the drinking and the daily gnawing in my stomach that I don't belong there. If I had to give a reason, not for wanting to never go back, but for wanting to go back, it would be my Idiots. Together, we made things bearable for each other. Though, admittedly, sometimes we made them worse, too.
The year we all moved in together started off rough. Someone had asked one of my roommates if they were worried about living with me because I was, "you know, like that." No explanation or anything given, but there was a huge confrontation in our living room three days after the semester started. And for weeks, I wondered if we'd bounce back from it. I don't know that we ever did, so much else was going on.
There was always so much else going on. Put four girls together in an apartment, and there's never a drama free moment. Hell, put four girls together in the dining hall for a few hours and there's never a drame free moment. We were a mixed bag. We loved each other and sometimes, we hated each other. But, even when we hated each other, we were there for each other. Even now, years later, if I have a problem, I call my favorite Idiot.
My mom was right. I met the best friend I'd ever have.
This is our story. This is how four girls went from complete strangers to best friends and then began to unravel. How boys and booze and sickness and death threatened to make our lives miserable. And in a lot of ways, succeeded. We were four Idiots, but now we're three. And we did it to ourselves.
This isn't a happy story. Sure, it has happy moments. And I turned out alright. But the story itself? What happened to us? Not a happy story in the slightest. It is, instead, a story about persevering, the testing of friendship and a lot of tears. It has its funny moments, sure. But when I tell this story, my stomach hurts and my heart aches. I wish it could have been so much different.
It was different for the others in a lot of ways - not entirely - because each of us carried something: something heavy and unwieldy. But that something was different. So I'll tell you parts of the story, but so will they. They'll share with you what they thought, too. Because sometimes, as much as I hate to admit it, they didn't like me very much. I wasn't a likable person, really, until the Idiots. And after, well, sometimes I'm still not. But that's just me. Bianca.
Megan and Stacey and Rachel were my best friends. And some of them still are.
DISCLAIMERS
1) I am writing the story of people I know. That doesn't mean that I'm writing exactly what happened or that the characters are direct stand-ins. My character's personality quirks are their own, not necessarily my friends (though you will see my friends' quirks appear somewhere). So if you think Character B is a complete and utter bitch, and you think it's based on Friend X, that doesn't mean Friend X is a complete and utter bitch. I actually probably like her a whole lot. It's fiction.
2) This is a WORK IN PROGRESS, ergo, it will probably suck. A lot. It's for NaNoWriMo, so criticism or 'you should do this with that chapter,' while maybe appreciated later, is not appreciated in November. It's derailing. I need to write 50k words this month and if I go back and second guess or edit, I'll never get done. That said, please do comment. Tell me what you liked. Encourage me to keep writing. If you have suggestions for edits, just them down somewhere else and I'll open up a thread on December 1st where you can go to town. If you have suggestions for UPCOMING chapters, well, do post those. If you went to school with us, or were around us then, and remember a craaaazy story, share it.
3) Er.. Actually, I think that's it. So yeah, don't hate me.. andddd... shower me with love and compliments. Got it? Good.
<3
2) This is a WORK IN PROGRESS, ergo, it will probably suck. A lot. It's for NaNoWriMo, so criticism or 'you should do this with that chapter,' while maybe appreciated later, is not appreciated in November. It's derailing. I need to write 50k words this month and if I go back and second guess or edit, I'll never get done. That said, please do comment. Tell me what you liked. Encourage me to keep writing. If you have suggestions for edits, just them down somewhere else and I'll open up a thread on December 1st where you can go to town. If you have suggestions for UPCOMING chapters, well, do post those. If you went to school with us, or were around us then, and remember a craaaazy story, share it.
3) Er.. Actually, I think that's it. So yeah, don't hate me.. andddd... shower me with love and compliments. Got it? Good.
<3
Friday, October 30, 2009
Cover
Many many thanks to fire_faerie over at Snitchseeker.com for my cover. We went back and forth with probably 7 versions before we got to this. And I love it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)