Chapter One - Part Two

Mike, clad in an oversized Sabres jersey and baggy cargo shorts, raised a lanky arm and rapped on the door. Bianca, for her part, stood with a pained expression on her face, completely oblivious to Mike, wishing she hadn't worn such a revealing shirt. Before she could turn and run, or make an excuse to go change or anything else, the door opened. In the doorway stood Megan Tesarik, dressed in striped pink pajama pants and a small pale pink cami, her dirty blonde hair pulled back into a low ponytail.

"Mike!" She smiled brightly, seeing him, and gave him a quick hug. "I'm so glad you could come!" Releasing him and then turning to Bianca, the smile faded into a courteous nod. "Bianca." Her voice was flat.

Great, thought Bianca, not only am I here to be a wingman, I'm here because he wants to get with MEGAN. Her insides churned, feeling at once betrayed and outdone. Of course Mike liked her; what wasn't to like? Bianca smiled politely and returned the nod. "Megan." Bianca wondered if she should excuse herself and be spared having to spend the night watching them canoodle and flirt. But at the same time, she felt like she had something to prove. Whether it was to Megan or Mike or to herself, sticking this evening out was something she was suddently determined to do. What it would prove, she didn't know, but it woudl prove something.

As soon as Megan stepped aside and led them into the room, Bianca wished she'd chosen differently. Sitting on the floor, talking to a girl Bianca didn't know, was Tim. The same Tim that months earlier had told Bianca that he loved her, fucked her, and left her. Bianca's eyes grew wide as she made her way into the room and chose a spot on the floor in the corner, as far as she could get from both Megan and Mike and Tim and the mystery girl. Pulling her knees up to her chest, Bianca began to feel rather selfconscious, particularly as her cleavage popped out of her shirt.

How could I have been so stupid, she chastised herself internally. Sneaking a glance over at Tim, she saw him do the same before saying something to the girl and then laughing. Her spirits fell. She was convinced that they were laughing at her. She could feel the tears welling in her eyes as she considered the situation. Her self-loathing was interuppted by Megan beginning to do introductions.

"Everyone, this is Mike and," pointing over to the corner, "that's Bianca." Megan seemed polite enough, but Bianca was feeling extra cyncial.

Giving a little half wave from her corner, Bianca only marginally paid attention to the rest of the introductions. Six or seven other girls were spread around the room, most in pajamas. She didn't really recognize any of them and couldn't tell you who was actually there if asked later. Well, except for being accutely aware that Tim was there. She still saw him occassionally - Mike was his only friend left, too - and for some reason those interactions didn't hurt nearly as much as seeing him tonight did. Offering a small, "hey" when Megan concluded her introductions with a sympathetic sounding, "and... well, you know Tim," Bianca resolved to get through the evening however she needed to, though she wouldn't like it.

Her thoughts were interuppted by Megan. "So, thanks for coming! And thanks Rachel and Stacey for letting us hang out here. I thought it would be nice to hang out and not have to deal with the crazy people on campus alone." Megan laughed and Bianca allowed herself a smirk. Megan was right, after all. The weather was getting better and spring weekend was approaching. That clearly meant lots of drunken rowdiness about campus, but this dorm was relatively quiet for the time being. If you weren't into that scene, might as well hang out with those of like mind.

"So, I figured we'd watch some movies," Megan offered cheerily, sitting cross-legged on the bed near Mike. "I think it could be cool if they had some sort of weird connection." Megan sounded a little sheepish, as if what she was suggesting was the height of un-cool. Bianca, on the other hand, was interested in seeing where this was going, while she also noticed Tim roll his eyes.

"I really wanted to watch Alice in Wonderland," one of the unknown girls offered, quietly, seemingly embarrassed by her suggestion.

Megan piped right up. "I think that's great!" She was bouncy and scanned the room with her eyes. "Connected movies?"

"Another Disney movie?" Someone offered and Megan nodded, taking note of the suggestion.

"The Wizard of Oz. Lost girl in a different world." Another voice piped up.

"Dogma."

Bianca hadn't been paying attention until she heard someone suggest Dogma. She wasn't sure who had, but it piqued her interest. She hadn't seen it, but if someone could make a connection between Alice in Wonderland and Dogma, well, that person couldn't be half bad.

"What's the connection?" Another voice called out.

"Well, I don't know if this is what she had in mind, but," Megan offered. "The story of the walrus and the carpenter is the connection." Megan grinned, folding her hands in her lap and leaning her bony shoulders forward. Mike leaned back against the wall, clearly confused, chewing absently mindedly on his lip.

Bianca looked up and brushed her hair out of her face. She knew the skeleton outline of the story, but had no idea where it appeared in Dogma. But, at least for the moment, her skepticism about the evening disappeared and she thought she might actually give this a chance. "Let's do that combo." It was the first she'd spoken and it surprised her when everyone turned around to look her way. "I mean..." She stuttered for a moment. "If that's ok with everyone." Biance pulled her knees closer to her chest as everyone looked at her. It had been the first time she'd offered anything; indeed, it had been the first time that night she'd been comfortable, but it seemed the others saw her as an intrustion.

"I agree with Bianca," Megan offered breaking the silence and smiling. "Besides, they're two good movies."

As she climbed down from the bed to rummage through the box of movies, she smiled at Bianca again, as if to reassure her. As Bianca smiled back, she heard a chuckle and turned to look in the direction it had come from. Again, Tim was looking at her and then turning back to the other girl, whispering. They then both laughed as they turned to look at Bianca again.

I will not make a scene. I will not make a scene. Bianca blinked hard to fight the tears that were welling up. She felt like a fool. Picking at her cuticles, she hazarded a glance around the room. Megan had put the movie in and was back on the bed, flirting with Mike. A cluster of girls was leaning against the other bed, watching the opening advertisements and Tim was, well, if he wasn't actually making fun of Bianca, it certainly looked like he was.

Standing, suddenly, Bianca spoke, her voice low and somber. "I'm, uh, feeling a little chilly. I'm going to go grab a sweatshirt." She grabbed her bag and hurried out of the room, hearing the girl with Tim mutter something that elicited a laugh. As the door closed behind her, Bianca let the tears that had been threatening to fall, cascade down her cheeks, dragging along lines of mascara as they fell. She stood for a moment in the hallway, unsure of where to go as drunk girls stumbled by her. Taking just a moment to clear her head, Bianca spun on her heels and headed for the stairs back up to her room.

As she reached the top floor, she was confronted by rowdy, drunk students, lurching up and down the hallways, cans of Keystone Light clenched in their fists. "Biaaanca," one slurred. "You look like.. *hiccup* hell. Have a drink!" It was Drunk Jen, resident alcohol-poisoning record holder. As she thrust the can into Bianca hand, she stumbled and leaned against the wall. "Whoa. Spinning. Cool." She no longer noticed Bianca and so as she backed away, Bianca placed the can down on the floor, and scurried to her own room. "Ooo, free beer!" she heard Drunk Jen exclaim in the hall, having seen the can but not recognizing it as the one she had already given away.

Slamming the door behind her, Bianca leaned against it and slid to the ground, finally allowing herself to full-on cry. Gasping and sobbing and trying to breathe, she berated herself for being so foolish. Of course Mike didn't like her. And of course Tim would be around. Really, the only thing she could do was hole up in her room and avoid them all for the rest of the semester. Banging her fists against the door, tears still streaming down her face, Bianca decided to call it a night. Standing up slowly, she peeled off the tight top and replaced it with a baggy SFU sweatshirt. Digging through her purse for a tissue to wipe her face, she noticed her phone vibrating sporadically.

Digging the phone out of her purse, Bianca flipped it open. One new text message from an unknown number. The confusion apparent on her face, Bianca opened the message.

It's Megan. Mike gave me ur #. Pls come back. Sorry they were rude.

Bianca sighed. Now she'd be the rude one if she didn't go back. She had to admit, she did feel a little better knowing that at least someone wanted her there, though it stung a little that the message had come from Megan and not Mike. Her own friend didn't even try to see what was wrong. Then again, Bianca knew Mike to be rather oblivious to things that girls might pick up on.

Staring at her reflection in the mirrior, Bianca set the phone down and then dabbed the tissue across her cheeks, rolling it gently to get the runny mascara without leaving black streaks across her face. Shaking out her curled hair, Bianca let it tumble down her back. Brushing it away from her face, she took out the bobby pins and then tossed it into a loose ponytail. Sitting in the desk chair, then, she traded her dress boots for sneakers. Looking in the mirror again, it was like a whole new person. She's gone from desperate, super made-up, please like me Bianca to it's Friday and I'm hanging out having pizza Bianca.

Picking her phone back up, she quickly typed a response to Megan, threw the phone back in her purse, threw the purse over her shoulder and headed out the door. Back in the hallway, the drunken students had mostly stumbled into rooms. Bianca stepped over empty cups, crushed cans and piles of condom wrappers, rolling her eyes. She couldn't wait until she was off this floor, and, despite the discomfort from earlier, part of her was glad to be headed to a group of people who weren't interested in getting super trashed for no reason.

When she reached the room and knocked, Megan opened the door, smiling brightly. She'd tossed a sweatshirt over her cami and gestured to a free spot on one of the beds. Looking around the room, Bianca noticed that Tim and the random girl were gone. She felt a strange mix of relief and regret. Had they left because of her? Had they left... together? Shaking the thought from her head, she climbed up unto the open bed, noticing that Mike was spread across the other, asleep, and sorta snoring. His Sabre's jersey had ridden up, exposing his stomach. Had it been in any other room, he would have found permanent marker drawings there the next morning. But here? Not here.

"I guess the movie just didn't hold his attention," Megan chuckled, setting on the bed next to Bianca. Two other girls were playing a card game on the floor, also ignoring the movie. "Do you want to turn it off?"

"Nah, let it go," Bianca said, leaning against the cinderblock wall. "It's totally trippy and I want to watch Dogma after it, anyway." Bianca shrugged. It was something to do. As she stretched, trying to get comfortable on the lumpy mattress, her stomach let out an embarrassingly loud grumble. "Er. Excuse me." Her cheeks flushed.

Laughing, gently, Megan waved her hand, "Don't worry about it. I'm starving too. It's only a matter of time." Megan hopped off the bed to grab her phone and punched a number in from memory. "Hello? Yeah, can I get one large pizza with pepperoni and ricotta? Loughlin hall, yeah. Thanks." Snapping the phone shut, she hopped back up on the bed. "Twenty minutes."

By the time the pizza had arrived, Mike had rolled over and planted his face directly in a pillow, a position he would remain in for the rest of the evening, one of the other girls had left, and it was just Megan, Bianca and... a girl whose name Bianca couldn't remember. The three of them sat on the floor around the open pizza box as the second movie of the evening started.

"This first scene might be my favorite part of the movie," Megan mentioned offhandedly as she grabbed a drippy piece of pizza from the box. The ricotta was slid off each piece, threatening to stain any shirt that dared get too close.

"Rwwlly?" Nameless girl asked the question with her mouth full of cheese, barely looking up.

"Kitty, careful or you'll choke." Megan laughed as she dabbed the top of her slice with a spare paper towel.

Bianca simply observed. So Kitty was the girl's name. Right. Bianca recognized her from.. somewhere. She was a friend of Mike's too, sort of. Maybe that's how he'd met Megan?

"Oh.. shhh, this is the best part!" Kitty had been about to speak, but Megan flailed her hands and quieted the room. On screen, Matt Damon's character expounded on the reason's why a Lewis Carroll poem was an indictment of all organized religion, both eastern and western.

"That's... that's genius." Bianca burst it a fit of giggles. "The carpenter... and the walrus... and we're the clams..." Bianca's speech was stilted, interrupted by gasps for air and fits of laughter. It was late and she was clearly punchy. A Theology major, she was actually quite appreciative of such critiques, though others in her department found her enjoyment a bit, well, distasteful.

"I know, right?" Megan laughed along with her, pausing only to take a bite of her pizza. "MMM. Greatest. combo. ever." Megan closed her eyes as she ate, a look of satisfaction on her face.

Kitty, for her part, simply ate her pizza and looked better the two girls. "I.. don't know that I get it," she shrugged as she spoke. "But, I don't know much about religion, so maybe that's why."

Bianca shrugged as well, taking her first bite of pizza. "Ooo, this is good. I never would have put this together." She nodded appreciatively at Megan. Turning to Kitty, she swallowed. "I don't know, maybe? I've never seen the movie so I don't know where it goes from here."

Megan's eyes grew wide. "You've never seen this? Well, let's stop talking, then, and watch!"

Well, they did watch, but they didn't stop talking. For most of the night, Megan and Bianca shared jokes about the movie and its implied criticisms of Catholicism, the Buddy Christ bobble-head that Bianca had in her room, and, occasionally, about the sleeping boy on the bed.

When the movie finally ended, Kitty looked at her clock. "Time for you all to get out of my room; Mike can stay, he's out." She smiled, wearily, and Bianca could tell that their welcome was officially at an end.

As she walked back up to her floor, Megan along side, she was astounded when she found out where Megan's room was. "You live on my floor? How is it possible that we've never hung out before?"

Megan shrugged before walking further down the hall and turning the corner. "Good night!" she called back.

Bianca turned the knob and headed into her room. Maybe tonight wasn't a total waste after all.